The Practice and Criticism Thread

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Bizarre Monkey

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Thanks a bunch Sage, now I don't have to ask the charmingly shrewd but incredibly busy freelance artist gal who may also be a voice-actress in a couple of my games about it.

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Whuuuf, okay, this piece actually has a really good potential, but it looks creepy for reasons, reasons that I will do my diddily darn best to explain.

The edge on the lips for starters, is far too dark, it needs to blend more into the color of the flesh it's essentially a part of.
The dimples are too defined, and gives her an almost ape-ish look.

The largest problem though, is that the eyes are up too high. All the features are up a bit too much, but the eyes over shoot that by a large margin, remembering that ears are about on level with the eyes, that should help show why it looks weird, the face as a result, looks very long, and very creepy.

The lower back also need to come back out a little after it's recession, and I know, women are hard to draw sometimes, and of the things I draw girls of varying sorts (usually with bare hands and feet so I don't get away with not practising that) are one of the main things I draw.

The head as a whole looks very large in comparison to the body, but that'll be largely remedied once you squash the head down and re-align facial features.

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Updated as Per Sage suggestions and fixed a couple things on my own, I'll move the tagline to act as the counterweight.

Edit: Update. Gave Pep less lazy feet, updated pantsus. Slightly modified Tristy's expression.
 
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OldPat

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@Bizarre Monkey @sage

Thank you both!
I'm still new to this Rule of Thirds thing, but I'm recently trying to take this into account when making new artworks.
Also yeah, actually it would've been way better if the "Saxophone-playing Torments" were directioned toward the girl. Damn, those two mistakes are kinda huge, should've payed much more attention...

Thank you again! It was really helpful!

@Bizarre Monkey: As for your artwork: is not bad... perhaps, besides what Sage already said, the only thing is that it looks... kinda "stiff". The poses are kinda "rigid", they don't flow naturally as they should. It also gives me too much of an impression of it being "2-Dimensional". I don't feel the characters "volumes" at all.
Don't know if I'm explaining myself correctly... xD
Also, the hands of the "no shoulder" guy are really small compared to his head. That bottle aswell.

@sage : Not bad, also has some pretty good details. Maybe her cheekbones are too pronounced, or whatever, and because of that she seems older than she should.
What follows next are just my impressions, more than actual mistakes. I think her mouth is too large and her eyes too close with each other.
Something else feels a bit off... but I can't really pinpoint what exactly.
Anyway, it is not bad at all.
 
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Bizarre Monkey

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@Bizarre Monkey @sage

Thank you both!
I'm still new to this Rule of Thirds thing, but I'm recently trying to take this into account when making new artworks.
Also yeah, actually it would've been way better if the "Saxophone-playing Torments" were directioned toward the girl. Damn, those two mistakes are kinda huge, should've payed much more attention...

Thank you again! It was really helpful!
I actually only learnt the 'rule of thirds' today thanks to my friend Andi when showing him a boxart, so all good! I was actually shocked to see it all being explained here after I'd coincidentially only just been told of it on skype!

Happy to help, also.

@Bizarre Monkey: As for your artwork: is not bad... perhaps, besides what Sage already said, the only thing is that it looks... kinda "stiff". The poses are kinda "rigid", they don't flow naturally as they should. It also gives me too much of an impression of it being "2-Dimensional". I don't feel the characters "volumes" at all.
Don't know if I'm explaining myself correctly... xD
That should be somewhat alleviated with the updated feet, the rest should disperse with shading, if not, oh welp!
Also, the hands of the "no shoulder" guy are really small compared to his head. That bottle aswell.
That's intentional, all of the characters there sans the skeleton have hands smaller than their head by a large degree. Good catch, though!
 

OldPat

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Hi, all!
I would like to know if you think this drawing is good:
Link diretto: http://oi66.tinypic.com/okq69y.jpg

I'm doing it for a friend's Youtube Channel and I would like it to be as good-looking as possible.
It's still WIP, a bit, even though is almost finished.
I don't think I will be able to modify so much at this point but...
 

LTN Games

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I can't give you good critique on art, but I do still want to mention that this is stunning and I love it. She's beautiful and so is the environment she is in. I'm glad I came here and took a peak.
 

OldPat

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I'm really glad you like it, LTN Games, thanks!
That's a relief.^^' At least is not that bad.
 

sage

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It looks great. I really like it how it is now.
But there are some things I would fix.

First:
The elbow and forearm are a little off.



Notice how her elbow isn't very rounded at the point, and how the outside of the forearm had like one gradual, nearly-straight, curve that goes along the outside. Even though the girl in your drawing has her hand facing the other way, it's still the same. You can check by twisting your own arm around.
The girl's elbow in your drawing is curved, and the outside of her forearm has a big curve, and then straightens out. The inside of her forearm is right, but the outside is too curved near the elbow.

Also:
I'm unsure about the thing she's sitting on. It looks like a table, but the shape is kind of weird and the legs are bent.

And here are the random other things:
Girl and ocean.png

Even if you didn't change those things, it'll look good. I think you did a really nice job on it.
 

OldPat

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Thank you for the really detailed feedback, sage! :)
That... isn't a table, actually, but a very strange horse-drawn carriage. The horse is hidden (I, ehr, didn't want to draw it. xD), but you can see the girl holding the reins (WIP reins, really "ugly" they are xD). Hence the strange "legs" and the "not so precise" shape of the carriage. Although I should make some adjustments.
The girl was supposed to be on a hill, that's why all of the water below is blurry, but perhaps the perspective is a bit off and seems like the sea is at the same height of the hill the girl is standing on. So yeah, the best way to do this is to make it less blurry, too late to adjust that one.

As for the rest, I'll make the necessary adjustments!
Thank you again!^^
 

sage

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No problem!

That... isn't a table, actually, but a very strange horse-drawn carriage.
Lol, that explains it. I saw the reigns, but it looked so weird didn't know what to think, lol. Carriages don't usually have legs like that. They're kinda just big weird shaped things with wheels sticking out. So I think you'd be better off if you just drew wheels on the outsides of the blanketed thing.

carriage. Although I should make some adjustments.
The girl was supposed to be on a hill, that's why all of the water below is blurry, but perhaps the perspective is a bit off and seems like the sea is at the same height of the hill the girl is standing on.
Oh no, it still looked like she was on a hill. You don't have to worry about that :P

Good luck with finishing it!
 
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